No one enjoys illness whether it be a simple cold or the flu. It makes us tired, cranky and miserable. For most minor illnesses, such as a common cold, life goes on. Or should I say, for women, life goes on. For most men, life comes to a screeching halt as they navigate a world of cold medications, orange juice and tea, while making life as miserable as possible for the women in their lives. It always amazes me when I hear people credit men as being the stronger sex. Actually is gives me a good laugh unless I am in the process of drinking something, in which case, it causes me to choke. I am serious. It is a known fact, that if men were the ones who bore children, the human race would have died out before it even had a chance to begin. Men have more muscle mass than women, but that is where the “strength” myth ends.
My ex-husband provided many examples of this during our ill-fated marriage. Once I was diagnosed with bronchitis and a sinus infection. After coming home from the doctor’s office and picking up my medication, I made lunch and packed up a snack for my older son to take to preschool before dropping him off at school. I then returned home, fed my 1 year old, changed him and put him down for a nap. I cleaned up the kitchen, ran the dishwasher and put a load of laundry in, before laying down to take a nap. As soon as my head hit the pillow, my baby woke up, I got him up, changed him again and then went to pick up my older son from preschool before stopping at the grocery stored to pick up a few things. When I got home, I put the kids in the play room and prayed they would entertain themselves while I started dinner. When my wusband (ex-husband) got home from work, I served dinner, fed the baby, cleaned up and gave the kids baths, put them to bed and finally took my meds before trying to get some sleep before doing it all over again the next morning. I am not a super woman…I am merely a woman. Women can multi-task. Women can take care of their families while sick, but then, what choice do we have??
Compare to my wusband when he came down with a common cold a month later. He came home from work, looking like death warmed over, promptly plopped into his recliner moaning loudly between coughs and asked if I could make him a cup of tea in a voice so weak I could barely hear him above the crying baby……or was I mistaking him for the crying baby?? Hmmmm not sure now…..but I digress. He then asked me to keep the kids away from him as he felt “lousy”, before going to bed and calling me every 15 minutes for orange juice, cold meds etc. The next day he stayed home from work and rested. For the next few days, I had a third child in the house who needed me to tend to his every need. Could he have some more tea (“If it wasn’t too much trouble”) “It was too cold, could I turn up the heat?” “It was too warm, could I turn the heat down?” “Was it time for his medicine??” The worst part was that when we got together with friends the next week, all he did was discuss how sick he was. What was even sadder was that my friend’s husband commiserated and the two of them discussed how tough it was to be sick. Jane and I looked at each other, rolled our eyes and said “yeah…try giving birth to a child and then coming home and having to care for a toddler, but sure…they have it tough”… Sigh.
Speaking of childbirth, have you ever talked to a new father after the birth of a child? To listen to them, you would think that they were the ones who carried another human being inside their bodies for 9 months, putting up with nausea, heartburn and varicose veins only to have to push, in my case, something akin to a 10 pound watermelon out of a part of a my body that had no business expelling anything larger than a grape. They discuss how “tough” the first trimester is. How hard it is on them as they have to “put up” with the roller coaster that is pregnancy hormones and then, the stress of timing contractions and how intense it is to be coaching their wives as they push and push until their bodies finally give in and relinquish their little bundle of joy. Then while the mother is trying to catch her breath, the fathers high five the doctors and congratulate themselves on a job well done! It’s a wonder more new mothers haven’t committed justifiable homicide right after giving birth.
Whenever one of my friends announces her husband has a cold, all the women look on in sympathy as they collectively respond “Oh, I’m sooo sorry.” Of course they are not sorry the men have colds but rather they empathize with the fact that the poor woman will have to deal with this man child for the better part of a week. I don’t think any man is immune to this. Even my father, who to me, is the most perfect man ever created, is obnoxious when sick. He gargles loudly, hacks, coughs blows his nose so hard that the walls shake, walks around with a towel covering his vicks covered throat and describes his cough and what it produces, in graphic detail. He also, like most men, asks how often he can take his cough medicine, can he take tylenol with it etc. despite the fact that the directions are clearly printed on the label. I find it amusing that even obviously very smart men, seem to forget how to read when they are sick. They can’t read the directions on cough medicine? They can’t read how many Tylenol to take? They “forget” when they last took their medicine? Or when they are due to take the next dose?? I guess it must be a mystery symptom that only affects men?? You know, the common cold can cause sniffling, runny nose, low-grade fever, cough, sore throat and if you are a man,memory loss and the inability to read directions clearly printed on your cold medicine.
I’m not really sure what God’s plan was in creating man. I know he was made in God’s image and likeness. The Bible tells us that God looked at Adam and decided he needed a partner so he took a rib and created woman. Chances are God looked at man and realized how helpless he was and gave him someone to care for him. Maybe the rib He took to create woman contained strength, self-reliance, selflessness and well, common sense? Once that rib left Adam, it was all over. And of course, it should be noted that despite creating Adam first, God realized if He wanted life to go on, He’d better create someone with more chutzpah. Lest we forget, He chose Mary to give birth to His only son. God is one smart cookie.
New Endings 